Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Last Time

I mowed my yard for the last time today. We are moving from Lee's Summit, MO to Bloomington/Normal, IL in ten days, and unless there is burst of radiation from space that causes my grass to grow at science fiction like levels, today will have been the last time I mow my yard in Lee's Summit. It will be the last time I pace the full breadth and width of the place that has been my home for the last four years, my feet falling into the familiar paths that I have paced behind my mower numerous times each summer. It will be the last time I look with pride on my yard after spending a few hours tending it, caring for it.

How strange that something so innocuous, something I have previously considered a chore, can carry so much emotion with it. As I walked I kept thinking, "This will be the last time I mow this yard." Over and over. And I wonder now about other things. Will this be the last time I close my gate? Will this be the last time my kids go down the playground slide? Will this be the last time I hear my neighbors across the way playing in their pool? Will this be the last time it rains while we live here?

Even as I ruminate on all this I realize that we can never know when our last times will be. Will this be the last time I kiss my children before they go to school? Will this be the last time I pray with a friend at church? Will this be the last time I rest my head on my pillow and drift to sleep? Thinking about these questions can't help but raise one more: Knowing every moment may be the last moment, am I satisfied with the moments I am living right now? Have I wrung all the joy and life and love out of every moment I find myself in?

Life can happen to us all in very unexpected ways. Today may be the last time you mow your yard.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Did You Ask First?

Calvin walks out of the kitchen and passes me with his mouth full and his cheeks fully chipmunked. I stop him and ask him what he has in his mouth.

"Uh gunboo," he says. I see the pink orb in his mouth and, knowing there is a jar of them in the kitchen, I put two and two together to realize he is saying a gumball. At this point I slip fully into parent mode and say the words that every parent has said at least once (even though they may have sworn when they were younger that they would never say things like their parents).

"Did you ask first," I say.

He smiles and giggles and says, "Oops, I forgot." I smile and giggle because I can't stay mad at the kid, and we laugh together as he skips off to play Wii.

Did you ask first? It's a small question with big implications for us. In the Bible there are numerous examples of people who reacted and responded to a situation without asking God what they should do first, and the results were disastrous. In 1 Samuel 21 and 22, David was on the run from King Saul who was trying to kill him. Saul thought that David was trying to take his thrown and was immensely jealous of David's popularity with the people. David, who had always been so faithful to God, panicked and ran. He went to the priest, Ahimelech, to ask for his help, but lied about what he was doing. He told Ahimelech that he was on a mission that Saul had sent him on and asked for food and weaponry. When Saul found out that the Ahimelech had helped David, he sent his men to slaughter him and all the other priests in that town, 85 in all. He then ordered his men to kill all of their families as well, wives and children. Hundreds of people died that day because of what David did.

David's mistake was in not seeking God's help and guidance first, and it led to a series of bad judgments that cost many lives. If he had paused, taken a breath and asked God what he should do, God would have led him to a totally different course that would have spared many people a great deal of pain. A good friend of mine just told me that God doesn't push, he leads. Those times when we feel pressure to quickly respond to our circumstances, when we feel backed into a corner, those are the very times that we need to ask God for his help the most. Those are the times when we need to ask what he wants us to do instead of responding with our first instinctive reaction (which are usually the most selfish and damaging). No matter what we face, we must always ask God how he wants us to respond first. The Bible assures us that when we ask he will answer.